Thursday, 21 March 2013

A Good Idea?...

After the success of last weeks opinion column, I was really looking forward to writing this weeks. I've had quite a few emails with requests for topics that my readers want addressing, so here is this week's...

Can sex with an ex ever work?

Now I'm pretty sure that a lot of people have thought about this before. You get into a relationship at a relatively young age, fall madly in love for the first time, and forget that anything else in the world exists. Few weeks, months, years down the line it's all over and you feel like everything has crashed down on top of you. Yep, been there done that, as I'm sure a lot of you have. But is that always it?

A couple of my ex's I've managed to stay really good friends with. Throughout my short almost 21 years of life I've only ever had two serious relationships. One I get on incredibly well with to this day, the other is a little more complicated. But we live and learn. In terms of the sex with an ex topic, I've never done more than really think about this one, and I'm not sure what my stance is on this idea.

Now I'm not one to really have one night stands anyway, I don't judge those ego do, each to their own and you're only young once, but I have difficulty separating my feelings. I've said before I wear my heart on my sleeve and tend to get myself too deep in situations that really should have been simple, so in that respect I don't see that sex with an ex for me could work. There's always going to be those feelings there. I understand sex can be just sex, but I'm not so sure that it can when it is with someone who you used to be in love with/had very strong feelings for.

I'm kind of looking at it from a womens perspective, without being stereotypical, the majority of us tend to think with our heads/emotions. And it makes me question what exactly is to be achieved and what kind of a relationship it will leave you with. Are you 'friends with benefits' or are you simply a 'booty call'? Is it exclusive or are you at it with others? Do you spend time together other than in the bedroom or is sex simply the be all and end all? Too many questions and too many confusing answers if you ask me.

Though I will admit, the one tempting thing in sex with ex, particularly those that were long term, is that you are completely comfortable with one another. You know what is good, what is bad, what works and what doesn't. You are completely in sync, and that is always good.

Basically in a nut shell, if you are one of those people who can completely detach themselves from their emotions and just have a physical relationship then this could completely work. But if like 99.9% of us who can't, I just feel reuniting sexually with an ex would just drag up the past and all the feelings that it brought with it. At the end of the day you broke up for a reason, sex wasn't enough then so why would it be now?

All a bit complicated though I will agree, and each to their own. Where do you guys stand on this topic?

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