Wednesday, 27 March 2013

The Impossible?

It's that time of the week again - column writing time. Every single time I write one of these columns I think more and more how much I want this to be my career. I have loved my time at uni studying fashion journalism, but I'm eager to show off my writing skills more than just what is trending and who is wearing what. Court reporting, column writing, and bridal features are possibilities that I am looking into and really want to experience when my time at uni has come to an end. But for today's column I'm asking the question:

Can men and women really be just friends?

This is one of those things that people have been speculating for since time began. The instant reaction when a male and female have a really close relationship is that they must be sleeping together. Even if one or the other, or even both have a partner, it still seems that people cannot comprehend the fact that men and women can have a relationship that is not sexual. 

Now quite a few of my close friends are males. I remained good friends with my boyfriend from four years ago and his group of friends, I lived with five boys in my first year at university, and I am still really close with three of those, and a large chunk of my friends at work are male. Just friends. Nothing more, yet people still like to joke about the fact that something is going on with a different one every week. Jealous girlfriends/boyfriends, and those who feel the need to cause trouble when it is not needed, do tend to make situations a million times worse - I'm sure many of you will agree!

But in my opinion it is more than acceptable to be just friends with someone of the opposite sex with their not being any complications, and my experience guys make for great friends in such a different way to women. With your girls you can chat about the guys you like, what emotional things you are experiencing and they will always say what you want to hear, sugar coat things and generally just make you feel a million times better! Men on the other hand say things how it is. They tell you to stop being stupid, have another drink (alcoholic of course) and just make you laugh at the most stupid things. It is a completely different friendship to that of a female and I think it is important to have that balance. 

The only problem that could  occur within such a friendship is one friend beginning to develop feelings for the other. Now you would think great, if these feelings were mutual; but what if it all went tits up a couple of months or years down t he line, your friendship would never ever be the same. 

Sex and relationship psychologist Tracey Cox says: "The scenario of one person thinking it’s just friendship, the other desperately hoping it will turn into love, happens. It happens a lot. I know this because it’s a common theme of emails sent to me by both men and women. No wonder both sexes see it [fancying a friend] as a negative: it is!

As someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and seems to be rubbish at hiding it, I think that if this situation occurred to me I would go for it. I think it is better regretting something that happened, than forever wondering what if. I know lots of people who are in successful relationships that developed from friendships, and surely that's got to be the best way to begin - you know all their flaws and annoying habits before you even get into it. Hindsight is a beautiful thing!

What is your opinion on this? Do you have a close relationship with someone of the opposite sex, or have you developed a friendship into a relationship? Leave a comment and let me know, I love to get your thoughts and opinions, or even advice - always useful!


  1. I've been best friends with a guy since I was 13 and at 17 we started a relationship, it lasted for about 8 months and we are still really close friends now. It's definitely possible :) I'm with you, I need male friends as well as girlfriends!

    1. I agree it can work, definitely. Just whether you are prepared to take the risk.

      Everyone needs a good male friend in their life - it's essential. A male point of view is so different to girls, sometimes we need reminding I think!