Wednesday, 2 October 2013

No Strings Attached...

It's been a long time since I've done a column piece that isn't beauty or fashion related and boy is it long overdue! I've been feeling pretty damn opinionated as of recent so it's about time I cracked out a post like this but I've been lacking inspiration recently. Until now that is. Last night I was watching 'No Strings Attached' and other than the fact that Natalie Portman's character is insanely pessimistic, it got me thinking, can you genuinely just be friends with benefits? 

In my opinion, no. Plain and simple. I'm sure many will disagree, I'm sure many will agree. In fact I'm sure many will be split directly down the middle down to personal experiences. Personally I think it is physically and emotionally possible to have sex with someone on a regular basis without there being some kind of feelings there, and more often than not they are completely one sided! If you ask me, if you have sex as above with no emotion whatsoever, then it's got to be pretty crap sex. Like before I'm sure many will disagree but I did say I was gonna blurt my opinion. 

My friend Harpreet (check out her blog it's ace if you like reading this sort of thing) wrote a post the other day about people settling for a relationship simply because they don't want to be single, and I think a lot of people so that with sexual relationships. People jump into having sex with someone else in the hope it will lead to something more which in a lot of cases it doesn't and it's pretty heartbreaking, take it from one who has learnt from that mistake previously. 

All this being said, I think 'seeing each other' arrangements can work pretty well, as long as you both know what you're getting into. Whilst you're young, what is better than having someone exclusively who is there for you, makes you laugh, that you can have fun with and great sex, without having any of the complications or pressure of a serious relationship! Now don't get me wrong, if I find the right person I'd love a relationship but I'm not one of those 20 something women who spend their days worrying about being single and dying an old lady with only cats as companions. Though the joke has been made. 

I'm a wear my heart on my sleeve kind of girl. If I like you you'll know about it. If I fall, I fall hard. It's all or nothing, and I think that's a positive rather than a negative! There's that cliche saying, "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". I totally agree. 

As always id love your opinion, these posts tend to pull in a fair few views so let's get a full on debate going. Leave a comment or drop me a tweet @loutan92 - get involved...


  1. Love this post! I totally agree, I think it's safe to say we both see no point in settling for relationships and other aspects of life halfheartedly :) Thank you for the mention! If anyone does fancy giving my blog a read, it's

  2. I have to agree - I think sex is always going to be better if there's a connection, so if a "thing" is worth continuing for the sex, there's pretty much guaranteed to be some awkward feelings somewhere down the line, in my opinion :) Great post, really well written!

    Jess xo

  3. Omg, your blog is my new favorite. I'm an aspiring fashion journalist as well. Glad to have found you!

    And yes, I agree with you I don't think friends with benefits can ever work without someone getting hurt. It's such a delicate balance that has to be maintained when two people are getting so intimate with one another. In fact, I think it's hard to be really really close friends with a guy without any drama on the side anyway. However I am biased because this last bit comes from personal experience. When I thought I had gotten the boy-girl friendship right and even bragged about it, it blew up in my face. We're still working on getting our friendship back on track but I am afraid it will never get back 100% to what it was before.